Attitude
Attitude is a way to describe how something makes your gut feel. Your mind is not involved, and should never be. Your attitude is very important because it instructs others how to behave around you. Displaying Attitude There are many ways to display an attitude: # graphically # verbally # facially # body language # clothing # pet accessories # money The attitude displayed depicts to those around you what brand of attitude your gut has. Graphically This is how you let everyone online know how your gut feels about a given situation. For example: TYPING WITH ALL CAPS lets people know your gut is mad, and they need to step off, yo. On the other hand, putting little emoticons in your text messages or emails lets people know your gut is gay--so don't do it! Verbally This is how you let everyone in the vicinity of your voice know how your gut feels during a cell phone conversation. Makes sure you speak as loudly as possible so those around you can experience your gut's attitude. Your gut can depict its attitude verbally by using certain words like: :* pwn :* snap :* damn! :* RUSH IS RIGHT!!! Facially Your gut is connected directly to your face. Your face can contort into just about any arrangement, and this is usually the first way people can experience your gut's attitude. Body Language Your gut commands every fiber in your body, and will play you like the Puppet Master it is. From the way you stand with your hand on your hip, girlfriend, to the way you swing your arm up to snap your fingers--your gut's attitude is displayed through your body in many fabulous ways. Clothing Your gut decides what you are going to wear the next day, not your mom. While you sleep your gut goes through your closet and picks out the best way to say to the world, "Honey, here I am!" Pet Accessories The pet you have is an extension of your gut, and it knows it. Your pet is in tune with your gut and will pee or hump the leg of someone nearby based on your gut's attitude. Money The money your gut earns can buy other people to stand near you and create the meta-aura of it's attitude in a way no single person can. Listen to your gut, and spend your money accordingly. Brands of Attitudes There are many brands of Attitudes, but for Americans there really are only 2 kinds: * American * un-American American The American brand of attitude is unique in all the world. This is good since the planet is America's. Graphically The American attitude is best conveyed by LARGE UNDERLINED ALL-CAPS BOLDENED RED FONT WITH EXCLAMATION POINTS!!! as if drawn by a big red crayon. Verbally The American attitude is best conveyed through sheer volume. DON'T EVER FORGET THAT!!! Facially The American attitude is best conveyed when the face is filled with blood, and turns red as a result. Your gut is American and red is one of America's colors. Body Language Body language can mean anything your body does, from spitting to scraping your hand from under your chin toward someone. Be creative, let your gut blossom through your body. Clothing Leather. And studs. America is leather, which is the skin of a dead animal and metal studs. No one will wonder what your gut wants or means. Pet Accessories The American attitude is relentless, and has sharp teeth. Ideally, if they could live out of water, the best pet to convey the American attitude would be a shark. But your gut is a wild animal like sharks and tigers, and they don't live well in packs, so go with a Pit Bull-Rottweiller-Mastiff mix. Make sure your pet has at least 50% of all three. Money Throw it around, slap people in the face with it, nothing says American better than violent airborne money! un-American The un-American attitude can only be conveyed while on your back or in the fetal position. The section below will help your gut know what to avoid. Graphically The un-American attitude can only be conveyed with emoticons. And flowers, shit like that. I don't even want to post it, it's so gay. Verbally The un-American attitude can only be conveyed when given permission by France or the U.N. and then only in a tiny little girlie voice, like this: I'm a wimp, help me, comb my hair. Facially With a wink of the eye, and a lick of the lips, you would think you are in San Francisco, but you're not (WOO-HOO!) you are only in the presence of someone with an un-American attitude. Body Language If you've ever seen a dog roll over onto its back or pee itself, then you have been exposed to un-American body language. Clothing Anything your grandmother sent to you for Christmas would best depict the un-American attitude. Pet Accessories A freakin' poodle. Or a baby chihuahua. Something that shivers when it's 100 degrees outside. Or a cat. Now that's gay. Money un-Americans don't have money, they give it all to charity, or homeless people or their kids, some shit like that. Unlike Real Americans, un-Americans don't wave money around violently or slap people with it, they go around begging for money. Next time you see one, go slap em in the face with a five dollar bill and pee on their leg. Conclusion This article upholds the mission of Wikiality.com by providing a much needed service to the online community. Thank you, and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!